Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Happy Birthday, blog!

This blog is officially 2 years old. Should I be sad I'm still not pregnant? Should I be disappointed I am not off meds? It is what it is. I am exactly where I should be. This journey is necessary. It will teach me something. It will make sense one day. It will have meaning. Will it?

I'm in Canada right now spending the holidays with my husband's family. Happily, for me, my baby brother is also here. He's been in Canada since June doing an exchange program.

I don't have a baby. Still, I shall be merry. Merry Christmas! And a happy new year. Hopefully, 2013 will bring me motherhood.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Still Here

I'm still here. I have healed. My surgery report says what they saw inside me was compatible with Stage 4 Endometriosis. I had a lot of it. I've had 2 cycles already and they were painful like the doctor said they would be. Hopefully from now on there will be no more pain.

It doesn't look like we will be celebrating a positive result over Christmas. I'm not pregnant. I have no idea when it will happen. I feel sad at times, but it seems I have let go a bit. I've been thinking a lot about adoption.

My birthday is in a few days. I'm turning 32. I was 29 when I started preparing for this journey. I naively thought it would be quick.

Merry Christmas!