I haven't really registered much of has been going on here anymore due to one simple reason: lack of time.
I have good news, though, and those are always great to share. My doctor decided she does not have the expertise to help me go through pregnancy, so she advised me to seek out Stanford Women's Clinic and also, if I wanted to, another doctor. I felt kind of 'pushed away' (she also mentioned she would be very very busy starting in February, and would not see any patients), but in the end, I found this very nice doctor who has already resumed reducing my medication and who sounds pretty confident I can go on without medication for a whole year - perhaps longer, why not?
Until recently, I had not questioned anymore the 'fact' that I would need medication for life. In the beginning, back in 2004, I struggled to accept I needed medication for an 'emotional' problem. It turns out, as we know, that depression/anxiety are diseases, just like any other diseases, which often require people to turn to palliatives in order to properly function. When I was released from medication, and had a relapse, and was released again from medication, and had a second relapse, I struggled even more to hear from doctors that there would be no happy life without my serotonin helper: venlafaxine extended release.
Hearing from this new doctor that I may be able to avoid medication even after giving birth sounds like a dream coming true. I am not pregnant yet, and won't be until I've completely stopped my antidepressant, but it sure felt good to hear such optimistic prospects from an expert. Talking about pregnancy, it seems everything is doing great with my cycle. I'll also take a fertility test (which btw is available at any Longs Drugs or Wall Greens, etc.) just to be 100% sure. I took an ovulation test this month to find out when I ovulate and it turns out it is on the 10th day of my cycle. I also got to try a sample of Pre Nexa prenatal vitamin supplements and I didn't feel nausea or any other side effects, so I'm getting the prescription filled tomorrow.
Everything is falling into place, which is awesome news. It seems I've caught a cold, not so good news for sure, but I haven't been sick for a long, long time, so I have to give myself a break. Other than that, I wish to go to Yoga more often, probably 4 to 5 days a week (ideally). Right now it has been from 2 to 3 times a week, mostly 2 times. Today, for example, I'm feeling sick and will not go. Hopefully tomorrow.
One of the things I told my new doctor today is that I want to keep and optimistic vibe throughout my journey into motherhood. I don't want to worry about what if I get depressed? what if I have anxiety? what if I feel sick and start throwing up again? No, I want to live in the moment, keep a positive attitude and deal with the problems as they rise. I want to take control of my life and keep my brain (and serotonin) in order!