Saturday, December 3, 2011

Giving up and letting go

It has definitely given me a sense of freedom. It seems I don't care anymore. It still hurts a bit when people ask if I have any news, but it's been better than before.

Yes, I gave up trying to get pregnant. I decided I am too tired to keep doing ovulation tests et all. The holidays and our trip to Brazil are approaching and I simply don't want to fuss about not being pregnant again.

My husband, on the other hand, seems to really want to keep trying. I know what some of you will say, yeah, of course he does, for he is a guy and he likes it, but I can assure you that that is not the case. Sometimes both of us are tired and hubby says we need to try because I won't just get pregnant if we don't "do the deed".

Well, honestly, after I learned about my friend's sister, who did exactly the opposite of what I'm doing (that is, she avoided having intercourse on the days she was most fertile) and got pregnant, I don't know anything anymore. Maybe if we avoid my fertile week, I'll get pregnant!!!

Anyways, I am super excited about our trip. We'll spend 2 weeks in my hometown, where I'll get to see my family, and friends I haven't seen in over 3 years, and then we'll go to the northeast of Brazil, to a coastal city called Salvador! The beaches there are awesome and it is going to be summer time! I can't wait!

My medication seems to be working well. Sometimes I forget to take it in the morning, and then I have a problem, because if I take it too late in the day, I can't sleep. Nevertheless, I am very satisfied with Cymbalta, especially knowing that it is much easier to stop it than it is to stop Effexor.

It does have side-effects, though, I keep having very vivid anxious dreams. I usually sweat a lot while I'm dreaming, which means I get very dehydrated. I'm still taking Kavinace, 2 pills a day, and I notice the difference in my anxiety if I don't take it. It definitely helps. I can certainly recommend Kavinace to anyone suffering from anxiety, insomnia, nervousness, stress...

I've also gained back some of the weight I had lost. I'm not totally thrilled about it, especially because people think it is okay for them to approach me to say "oh, you've gained some weight!" I think it is because I am not overweight, so they must think I won't care! No woman likes to hear she's gained weight. Besides, I do not think it is very polite to tell someone that he or she gained weight, even if it is true!

I would love to someday come here and let you all know I am pregnant, but unfortunately it hasn't happened. Perhaps it will happen during our vacation, when we'll be relaxing at the beach... I wish!!! Happy Holidays, everyone!

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